Playing Detective

Because of communication challenges, parents of autistic children must constantly play detective. We use past behavior as clues to help our kids navigate and even enjoy a confusing world. Often we are stumped, but sometimes we actually figure it out. Yesterday was one of those beautiful moments of getting it right.

From my bedroom, I could hear Audrey encouraging Eli to come to the kitchen table to dye Easter eggs. Eli was not having it. "Not! Not! Don't want!" He grabbed his iPad and ran out the back door to his beloved quiet place, the gazebo. (Our back yard is completely enclosed and we're so happy that he has this safe area to chill out!)

I stepped into the kitchen and observed what was going on. The table was covered in Easter goodness - tea cups filled with vinegar water and Paas coloring tablets, stickers, markers, plastic spoons, egg crates, and seven noisy siblings and cousins all having a great time as adults looked on in my small kitchen.

Then it struck me - it's not the dye or the eggs, it's the environment! That happy, messy chaos that neurotypical people enjoy is overwhelming for my boy.

So I grabbed a cup of dye and an egg and headed out to the gazebo. And I quickly discovered that Eli loves dying eggs. He loves it so much that we SHARED AN EXPERIENCE, and HE MADE EYE CONTACT with me. (Can I get a "hallelujah" from all my ASD experts and parents who understand how BIG these two things are???)

It was a good day to be a detective.